Tuesday, May 5, 2009
WA#7 Final
One sunny Sunday afternoon a man entered a nursing home and with him was a sales pitch for a government run program. The goal of the program was to satisfy the last wishes of the elders attending the nursing who were soon on their way out. He was a very insensitive man who seemed only interested in getting these people to try this new plan, I assume there was some sort of an amount money involved. His voice was that of a chipmunks and he kept chattering on like he had only seconds left on Earth… He spoke of great adventures through jungles and lounging on the beach, at one point he did offer time with family which seemed to be the only sensitive and sensible piece he spoke the whole time. The problem that I have is that death is part of life and death could be the greatest adventure in it. As you are reaching the “end” you should not need to go the extra yard at the end to “satisfy” your “terrible” lives. You should respect the process and go in peace as you are in the world; may it be in a bed alone or walking under the sun surrounded by friends and family. Many people would argue that no one should die alone, maybe it’s the fear of the person who is dying or maybe it’s the fear that is held in those who are watching the death. Though what is there to fear? The unknown, the mystery that is death could be the heaven so many wait for, it could be the green fields of freedom after years of oppression. Why fear a place where you have never been? Where you have heard nothing of? Where no one has returned? The answer is clear because it’s scary to travel to a foreign place you have no prior knowledge. That is only what we have been taught and molded to think, fear the unknown. But with the unknown you have a 50:50 chance with it being a place of fear or a place of happiness. You have more of a chance of satisfaction with the unknown then going out your front door. As you drive down the street you fear a crash, as you walk alone you fear an attack, as you’re in school you fear that one person who you try so hard to avoid. If there is so much fear in the world and so much hate that goes around, why fear a place that has no proof of fear or hate? “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” -F.D.R.; you have fear of leaving you loved ones, the death of a loved one, the death of a relationship, of a pet rabbit, but you should not fear death itself. If you can become one with the thought of death and the death of those around you, then you can go at peace at any moment in time. As I speak to you now, the man throwing the sales pitch down below is yapping away about some Indiana Jones and the jungles of Belize. Well here is my sales pitch and I ask you many questions about how you want to leave this world: in fear or in peace?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
WA#7 Inspire a Nursing Home to do something
Good afternoon my sweet elder broads and gents! I come to you as a friend, also a spokesman for a government run program, bringing the options of the final stage of your lives. I look around and see a bunch of drop dead gorgeous faces… and in those faces I see the children that once were; the children that ran around the back yard as if it were a far off jungle and the children that were driven by adventure and curiosity. As you come to an end of your lives in this reality you should think about how you want to leave. I think it is only fair for you to make your own decisions about how you want to go but just think of your long lives ending with a big shebang, the grand finale!
Now when you were young folk, what did you do for fun? As youngsters you ran and played around and on whatever could be run or played on. So why not end with that exhilarating sense of adventure and take on the Rocky Mountains or the Great Barrier Reef. Also remember that this program is paid in full by your government. Your options are endless! If your not looking for something too wild n’ crazy then maybe a nice sunset on the white sand beaches of Barbados sounds more appealing. Feel the sensations that you want to feel as you leave this world. Do want your last smells of your life to be moth balls and crusty chicken noodle soup or ocean mist upon tall pinewood on the Maine coast? The goal of this program is to let you choose the happiest and most fulfilling departure of your life.
You ma’am! You would look great in a big floppy hat and a sun dress sipping on a margarita at the grand casinos in the Bahamas. You could take a ten day cruise around the Caribbean visiting all the tropical islands including Nassau where you could get your gamble on or just lounge in a bar watching the sun glow over the crystal blue water. I would recommend trying conch fritters; they are to die for…
You sir! Your sir look adventurous, Indiana Jones is what I see, and wouldn’t you look good venturing through the jungles of Belize where after your long trek you could end up in the arms of a beautiful girl, just like in the movies. You all are the producers, the directors, and the lead character of the greatest movie ever, your lives. No one likes a movie with a bad ending, so make yours a box office hit!
It could be the adventure you’re looking for, or the quality time with your family. Whatever it is you want, we want you to be able to have your own personal finale. This is a chance to experience the life you’ve always had for the last time or the life that you always wanted for the first and the last.
Now when you were young folk, what did you do for fun? As youngsters you ran and played around and on whatever could be run or played on. So why not end with that exhilarating sense of adventure and take on the Rocky Mountains or the Great Barrier Reef. Also remember that this program is paid in full by your government. Your options are endless! If your not looking for something too wild n’ crazy then maybe a nice sunset on the white sand beaches of Barbados sounds more appealing. Feel the sensations that you want to feel as you leave this world. Do want your last smells of your life to be moth balls and crusty chicken noodle soup or ocean mist upon tall pinewood on the Maine coast? The goal of this program is to let you choose the happiest and most fulfilling departure of your life.
You ma’am! You would look great in a big floppy hat and a sun dress sipping on a margarita at the grand casinos in the Bahamas. You could take a ten day cruise around the Caribbean visiting all the tropical islands including Nassau where you could get your gamble on or just lounge in a bar watching the sun glow over the crystal blue water. I would recommend trying conch fritters; they are to die for…
You sir! Your sir look adventurous, Indiana Jones is what I see, and wouldn’t you look good venturing through the jungles of Belize where after your long trek you could end up in the arms of a beautiful girl, just like in the movies. You all are the producers, the directors, and the lead character of the greatest movie ever, your lives. No one likes a movie with a bad ending, so make yours a box office hit!
It could be the adventure you’re looking for, or the quality time with your family. Whatever it is you want, we want you to be able to have your own personal finale. This is a chance to experience the life you’ve always had for the last time or the life that you always wanted for the first and the last.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
WA#6 Final Draft
It was a beautiful day and the sun shown heavily on my brown mane. My bald African American partner and I were just sitting down to our spaghetti lunch special at Biggins’ Diner when we received a call of a robbery. It was not easy but we finally parted with our spaghetti special to report to the scene of the crime.
We arrived at Biggins’ Grocers where it had been reported that a small muscular man with a pinwheel hat stole a large amount of bananas, some ten bushels or so. We approached the store manager who witnessed the robbery and all he could say was that, “It happened oh so fast, so fast, so fast… fast”. We did as much as we could but we had little evidence as to where the robber had fled to. As we walked out of Biggins’ my partner pointed out a small pile of banana peels strewed about under a certain Juniperus communis shrub. We didn’t know what it meant but we could only guess that our robber must have eaten a banana…
We hopped in our shining blue patrol car to return to our spaghetti special Mr. Biggins saved for us. We didn’t get two blocks until we got another call of another robbery over at another Biggins’ Grocer across town.
We sped through the city street in a haze of confusion with our lights flashing warning anyone to get the stepping. We flew into the parking lot guns blazing ready for some action only to see the robber dive down an alley way dragging what seemed like a banana monster. It was the first time I thought I might lose my life. We dove out of the car in the proper rolling procedure, our guns pointed at the alley. When we decided it was safe we slowly crept towards the alley way, across the parking lot which was nearly 100 yards. There was so much buzzing through my head, I could picture my wife and kids, my mother and father, Mr. Biggins and my spaghetti special. My life had just flashed before my eyes… at that point we were only fifty yards away from the alley still creeping along strictly following proper procedure. A half hour went by when we finally reached the opening to the alley. With my back against the brick wall I looked at my partner wondering if it was going to be the last. He nodded at me signaling me to make my move around the alley corner. The sweat dripped down my face dripping into my eyes, it stung so badly. I finally mustered up the courage after a few minutes of hyperventilating and dove around the corner with my gun out ready to shoot. “FREEZE! PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON! DON’T MAKE ME SHOOT!” My eyes were closed but I unloaded several rounds down the mysterious alley. After the last casing had dropped I opened my eyes and there stood a chimpanzee. I was amazed it was still alive but then I looked over in the corner where a dumpster stood with a couple dozen bullet holes in it. The chimp was surrounded by a pile of bananas just munching away. I lowered my gun and my partner and another officer came running up behind me. We all looked with amazement at the simple chimp eating the pile of bananas. I walked over to him, which we discovered later on, with my hand out in salutation. He then socked me in the eye. I stumbled back whimpering at the ferocious act of violence. The chimp then waddled over to me with an outstretched had holding a banana. I slowly reached and took the banana. He then folded his lips back smiling and screeching happily. My partner, the other officer, and I then sat down to a nice meal of bananas with the chimp followed by a quite delightful grooming session.
I had never been witness to such a frightful and pure moment in the field. Now everyday after that it seems I have grown more and more courageous knowing that sometimes the outcome isn’t always a dreadful threatening nightmare.
We arrived at Biggins’ Grocers where it had been reported that a small muscular man with a pinwheel hat stole a large amount of bananas, some ten bushels or so. We approached the store manager who witnessed the robbery and all he could say was that, “It happened oh so fast, so fast, so fast… fast”. We did as much as we could but we had little evidence as to where the robber had fled to. As we walked out of Biggins’ my partner pointed out a small pile of banana peels strewed about under a certain Juniperus communis shrub. We didn’t know what it meant but we could only guess that our robber must have eaten a banana…
We hopped in our shining blue patrol car to return to our spaghetti special Mr. Biggins saved for us. We didn’t get two blocks until we got another call of another robbery over at another Biggins’ Grocer across town.
We sped through the city street in a haze of confusion with our lights flashing warning anyone to get the stepping. We flew into the parking lot guns blazing ready for some action only to see the robber dive down an alley way dragging what seemed like a banana monster. It was the first time I thought I might lose my life. We dove out of the car in the proper rolling procedure, our guns pointed at the alley. When we decided it was safe we slowly crept towards the alley way, across the parking lot which was nearly 100 yards. There was so much buzzing through my head, I could picture my wife and kids, my mother and father, Mr. Biggins and my spaghetti special. My life had just flashed before my eyes… at that point we were only fifty yards away from the alley still creeping along strictly following proper procedure. A half hour went by when we finally reached the opening to the alley. With my back against the brick wall I looked at my partner wondering if it was going to be the last. He nodded at me signaling me to make my move around the alley corner. The sweat dripped down my face dripping into my eyes, it stung so badly. I finally mustered up the courage after a few minutes of hyperventilating and dove around the corner with my gun out ready to shoot. “FREEZE! PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON! DON’T MAKE ME SHOOT!” My eyes were closed but I unloaded several rounds down the mysterious alley. After the last casing had dropped I opened my eyes and there stood a chimpanzee. I was amazed it was still alive but then I looked over in the corner where a dumpster stood with a couple dozen bullet holes in it. The chimp was surrounded by a pile of bananas just munching away. I lowered my gun and my partner and another officer came running up behind me. We all looked with amazement at the simple chimp eating the pile of bananas. I walked over to him, which we discovered later on, with my hand out in salutation. He then socked me in the eye. I stumbled back whimpering at the ferocious act of violence. The chimp then waddled over to me with an outstretched had holding a banana. I slowly reached and took the banana. He then folded his lips back smiling and screeching happily. My partner, the other officer, and I then sat down to a nice meal of bananas with the chimp followed by a quite delightful grooming session.
I had never been witness to such a frightful and pure moment in the field. Now everyday after that it seems I have grown more and more courageous knowing that sometimes the outcome isn’t always a dreadful threatening nightmare.
Monday, March 23, 2009
WA#6 Picture
The streets run cold at night with crime, murder, rape… It has been assigned to us to control and stop these problems. But this night was different; this night we didn’t know how to stop it.
It was an overcast night and the moon shown hazily through grey ominous clouds. The wind blew, biting the nose of any street walker. The lights of climbing skyscrapers were slowly blown out one by one until all the candles glowed no more. Gazing upon all of these things was a man whose blood ran cold and eyes danced with fire. This was a man who was about to reap havoc among the cold dark city.
He slowly walked down a dimly lit street trying to pick out his first victim. He looked upon a single woman with long black hair yapping away on her cell phone. He discretely made his way toward the poor woman revealing a small silver blade barely sticking out of his trench coat sleeve. When he was within arms length of the woman he struck her quickly in the stomach and as she fell he slit her gasping throat ending her life. He walked away with grim evil smile only the devil himself would wear.
It was only five minutes later when we got a call that a woman had been stabbed down on 5th street. We quickly arrived at the scene of the crime and evaluated the situation. The woman was lying in the middle of the sidewalk so the attack was quick and discrete. We acknowledged the woman had a deep wound in the stomach and her neck had been cut from ear to ear. We then talked to the witness who called in and he said that he saw a tall male figure walking away from the woman in a long beige trench coat. We hadn’t been there but fifteen minutes when we received a call of another homicide over near 10th, only five blocks away. We left the previously scene to the coroner and two other officers quickly moving to the next.
This one was more than just a homicide; it was a rape as well. It was a middle aged woman with long black hair lying bare in the middle of an alley. We observed her wounds and there was only one that was apparent. A long slash wrapping like a crescent around her neck from ear to ear. I looked at my partner and realized we were dealing with serial killer. We could feel the presence of something evil lurking through the shadows of the city streets; we knew this thing wasn’t going to stop until it was put to rest. The problem was we didn’t know how to stop it.
We called in to all the available officers out patrolling the streets for any suspicious characters. One particular female officer was out alone. She saw someone who matched the description of the killer only three blocks away from the last crime scene. She yelled out for the man to stop but he quickly darted around a corner down an alley way. She got out of her cruiser and ran down the dark alley way. She looked through the shadows trying to find the elusive night killer. But from behind her came a cold blade that caught her right in the back. She dropped to her knees listening to the rattling breath of the killer. He began to chuckle looking upon his victim. He grabbed her hair pulling her head up revealing her neck. He raised the blade in pursuit to end the officer’s life. As he came down the officer, with a last dying breath, grabbed her gun turned and shot the killer right between the eyes. She then lay looking at her killer until she took her last breath.
We arrived shortly after, seeing her patrol car we took down the alley. We then saw two bodies lying amongst the alley trash. We ran up with our guns out only to find that the two bodies were lifeless. I lowered my gun. My partner, another officer, and I looked with disbelief at the scene. We asked ourselves how only one man could take so many lives within only a few hours. We then answered our question with the realization that hate and evil wait for no one and will continue until every drop of wickedness is destroyed. We understood this when we got a call of a robbery happening at the corner of 17th and Mangrove Street. We then turned away from the horrific scene and continued with our jobs knowing that good will and must always overcome evil.
It was an overcast night and the moon shown hazily through grey ominous clouds. The wind blew, biting the nose of any street walker. The lights of climbing skyscrapers were slowly blown out one by one until all the candles glowed no more. Gazing upon all of these things was a man whose blood ran cold and eyes danced with fire. This was a man who was about to reap havoc among the cold dark city.
He slowly walked down a dimly lit street trying to pick out his first victim. He looked upon a single woman with long black hair yapping away on her cell phone. He discretely made his way toward the poor woman revealing a small silver blade barely sticking out of his trench coat sleeve. When he was within arms length of the woman he struck her quickly in the stomach and as she fell he slit her gasping throat ending her life. He walked away with grim evil smile only the devil himself would wear.
It was only five minutes later when we got a call that a woman had been stabbed down on 5th street. We quickly arrived at the scene of the crime and evaluated the situation. The woman was lying in the middle of the sidewalk so the attack was quick and discrete. We acknowledged the woman had a deep wound in the stomach and her neck had been cut from ear to ear. We then talked to the witness who called in and he said that he saw a tall male figure walking away from the woman in a long beige trench coat. We hadn’t been there but fifteen minutes when we received a call of another homicide over near 10th, only five blocks away. We left the previously scene to the coroner and two other officers quickly moving to the next.
This one was more than just a homicide; it was a rape as well. It was a middle aged woman with long black hair lying bare in the middle of an alley. We observed her wounds and there was only one that was apparent. A long slash wrapping like a crescent around her neck from ear to ear. I looked at my partner and realized we were dealing with serial killer. We could feel the presence of something evil lurking through the shadows of the city streets; we knew this thing wasn’t going to stop until it was put to rest. The problem was we didn’t know how to stop it.
We called in to all the available officers out patrolling the streets for any suspicious characters. One particular female officer was out alone. She saw someone who matched the description of the killer only three blocks away from the last crime scene. She yelled out for the man to stop but he quickly darted around a corner down an alley way. She got out of her cruiser and ran down the dark alley way. She looked through the shadows trying to find the elusive night killer. But from behind her came a cold blade that caught her right in the back. She dropped to her knees listening to the rattling breath of the killer. He began to chuckle looking upon his victim. He grabbed her hair pulling her head up revealing her neck. He raised the blade in pursuit to end the officer’s life. As he came down the officer, with a last dying breath, grabbed her gun turned and shot the killer right between the eyes. She then lay looking at her killer until she took her last breath.
We arrived shortly after, seeing her patrol car we took down the alley. We then saw two bodies lying amongst the alley trash. We ran up with our guns out only to find that the two bodies were lifeless. I lowered my gun. My partner, another officer, and I looked with disbelief at the scene. We asked ourselves how only one man could take so many lives within only a few hours. We then answered our question with the realization that hate and evil wait for no one and will continue until every drop of wickedness is destroyed. We understood this when we got a call of a robbery happening at the corner of 17th and Mangrove Street. We then turned away from the horrific scene and continued with our jobs knowing that good will and must always overcome evil.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Part One
It’s twelve fifteen, the wedding started at twelve. I can’t believe I’m late to my own brother’s wedding. Is it at the church over on Magnolia or is it that big old church by the stadium? Let’s pick the one by the stadium, it’s closer.
Here we are. Do I have everything? This bow tie looks ridiculous.
Holy Jesus these doors are heavy, you’d think with all these old people they’d have some lighter doors.
“Oh hello there grandma, how are you? I know I’m late. I know it looks ridiculous. I know I know I’m going.”
Wow, there are a lot of people there, including the bride’s sisters, hello there. And there’s a little wink. Oh she didn’t like that.
There’s ol’ Johnny, I can’t believe I’m late.
“Hey Johnny, sorry I’m late” he looks pissed.
“Hey shmuck, bout time. Got the ring?”
HOLY HELL! I forgot the ring at home, oh no, what am I gonna do?
“Oh I just forgot it in the car. Excuse me for a sec while I retrieve the precious” I just lied so hard.
Why does this church have to be so awkwardly long? Holy cow, grandma looks pissed. Let me quicken my pace a bit.
Again with these doors, I feel like my arm is gonna get ripped off. Look at my beautiful black Stang glowing with glory. Alright baby, let’s start up.
PUTTPUTT POW!
You’ve gotta be kidding me!? I guess I’ll have to run back to the house. Oh ouch, bad idea running in dress shoes. Wow, starting to sweat. Breathe. Keep on going, we’re almost there.
Here we are, wow those shudders need fixing. THERE’S THE RING! It’s twelve thirty; Johnny’s probably giving birth to a small cow right now. Sprint legs sprint! Breathe! THE CHURCH!
The holy heavy doors yet again.
“Grandma, Hello! Yes I know” such a sweetie.
There he is, he’s so damn happy right now. Oh man I might start crying. Stay strong.
“Got it?”
“Yea…here” don’t breakdown.
“I love you brother”
“OH GOD I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Oh that was a bit much.
“Sorry, go on” And it’s on! I wonder if the bride’s sister is gonna be at the reception.
Part Two
Twelve minutes until the wedding starts, I can’t believe the day is finally here. Nothing could possibly make this day go wrong, except Johnny’s bum of a brother who never showed up to the dress rehearsal…
Oh shoot, I have to make sure sis has the ring. Whoa, I nearly broke a heel. Wow these doors are heavy, I better warn daddy about those.
“You got the ring?” she looks so beautiful, “Great, TEN MINUTES!” Where is that best man!?
This is it! “Dad, remember the doors” oh lord he’s getting old.
There’s Johnny’s sour grandma. “Hey there grandma!” I hope no one told her about those doors. And there is my knight in shining armor. And look there, no best man.
Oh I hear a car. And there is the best man who had no warning about those doors, sissy. What on earth is he wearing? That’s the most disgusting bow tie I’ve ever seen. Excuse me, he did not just look at my sister like that!
What!? He forgot the ring in the car!? What a moron.
“PUTTPUTT POW!”
What on earth was that!? It sounded like a gun shot or… it’s probably the genius of a best man.
It’s been fifteen minutes and that cheese ball still isn’t back! Oh I can hear him coming, what a little sissy with those doors. My word, he looks like he just got in a bar fight. He must’ve run to go get the ring… I guess he’s not so bad.
“I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Really? Did he really have to do that? He’s caused enough of a scene already. And hear it is and the ring is on! YES! Is Johnny’s brother crying? Oh I bet it’s all an act to get my sister…
“Hey you! Come here. I know what you’re tryin to do with my sister.” Little punk, “Excuse me! You aren’t to use that in any such way!”
How come Johnny never does that?
It’s twelve fifteen, the wedding started at twelve. I can’t believe I’m late to my own brother’s wedding. Is it at the church over on Magnolia or is it that big old church by the stadium? Let’s pick the one by the stadium, it’s closer.
Here we are. Do I have everything? This bow tie looks ridiculous.
Holy Jesus these doors are heavy, you’d think with all these old people they’d have some lighter doors.
“Oh hello there grandma, how are you? I know I’m late. I know it looks ridiculous. I know I know I’m going.”
Wow, there are a lot of people there, including the bride’s sisters, hello there. And there’s a little wink. Oh she didn’t like that.
There’s ol’ Johnny, I can’t believe I’m late.
“Hey Johnny, sorry I’m late” he looks pissed.
“Hey shmuck, bout time. Got the ring?”
HOLY HELL! I forgot the ring at home, oh no, what am I gonna do?
“Oh I just forgot it in the car. Excuse me for a sec while I retrieve the precious” I just lied so hard.
Why does this church have to be so awkwardly long? Holy cow, grandma looks pissed. Let me quicken my pace a bit.
Again with these doors, I feel like my arm is gonna get ripped off. Look at my beautiful black Stang glowing with glory. Alright baby, let’s start up.
PUTTPUTT POW!
You’ve gotta be kidding me!? I guess I’ll have to run back to the house. Oh ouch, bad idea running in dress shoes. Wow, starting to sweat. Breathe. Keep on going, we’re almost there.
Here we are, wow those shudders need fixing. THERE’S THE RING! It’s twelve thirty; Johnny’s probably giving birth to a small cow right now. Sprint legs sprint! Breathe! THE CHURCH!
The holy heavy doors yet again.
“Grandma, Hello! Yes I know” such a sweetie.
There he is, he’s so damn happy right now. Oh man I might start crying. Stay strong.
“Got it?”
“Yea…here” don’t breakdown.
“I love you brother”
“OH GOD I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Oh that was a bit much.
“Sorry, go on” And it’s on! I wonder if the bride’s sister is gonna be at the reception.
Part Two
Twelve minutes until the wedding starts, I can’t believe the day is finally here. Nothing could possibly make this day go wrong, except Johnny’s bum of a brother who never showed up to the dress rehearsal…
Oh shoot, I have to make sure sis has the ring. Whoa, I nearly broke a heel. Wow these doors are heavy, I better warn daddy about those.
“You got the ring?” she looks so beautiful, “Great, TEN MINUTES!” Where is that best man!?
This is it! “Dad, remember the doors” oh lord he’s getting old.
There’s Johnny’s sour grandma. “Hey there grandma!” I hope no one told her about those doors. And there is my knight in shining armor. And look there, no best man.
Oh I hear a car. And there is the best man who had no warning about those doors, sissy. What on earth is he wearing? That’s the most disgusting bow tie I’ve ever seen. Excuse me, he did not just look at my sister like that!
What!? He forgot the ring in the car!? What a moron.
“PUTTPUTT POW!”
What on earth was that!? It sounded like a gun shot or… it’s probably the genius of a best man.
It’s been fifteen minutes and that cheese ball still isn’t back! Oh I can hear him coming, what a little sissy with those doors. My word, he looks like he just got in a bar fight. He must’ve run to go get the ring… I guess he’s not so bad.
“I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Really? Did he really have to do that? He’s caused enough of a scene already. And hear it is and the ring is on! YES! Is Johnny’s brother crying? Oh I bet it’s all an act to get my sister…
“Hey you! Come here. I know what you’re tryin to do with my sister.” Little punk, “Excuse me! You aren’t to use that in any such way!”
How come Johnny never does that?
Monday, February 23, 2009
WA#5 Wedding2
Only twelve minutes until the wedding starts, I can’t believe this is real. The day I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl is finally here and I actually am getting married to my own knight in shining armor. Nothing could possibly make this day go wrong, well there’s always Johnny’s bum of a brother who never showed up to the dress rehearsal and no one has heard from him in the past two days…
Oh shoot, I have to go make sure sister has the ring ready. Oh my why did they have to put the dressing room all the way down these stairs. Whoa, I nearly broke a heel. Twenty three steps, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six…Good grief I’m finally done with those stairs, holy smokes these doors are heavy, I better warn daddy about those before he walks me down the hall.
“Hey sis! You got the ring?” she looks so beautiful, “Alright great, TEN MINUTES!” Ah I’m so excited. Where on earth is that damn best man!?
Alright here it is, “Dad remember the doors” oh boy he’s getting old.
Oh there’s Johnny’s grandma, what a sour lady. “Hey there grandma!” I hope no one told her about those doors. And there he is, my knight in shining armor. And look at that, no best man. I can’t believe this is happening.
His eyes are so beautiful, deep blue lined with a grey, this is really happening! Oh I hear a car, I wonder if this is Johnny’s brother. Yup, there he is and yup no one told him about those doors, good riddance. What on earth is he wearing around his neck, oh my, that’s the most disgusting bow tie I have ever seen. Excuse me, he better have not of looked at my sister like that, way out of his league anyways.
Hmmm, I’d like to give him a little earful right now. What!? He forgot the ring in the car!? What an incompetent little piece…
“PUTTPUTT POW!”
What on earth was that!? It sounded like a gun shot or… I can only assume it’s the genius of a best man.
It’s been fifteen minutes and that cheese ball still isn’t back, in the car my… Oh I can hear him coming up the stairs, what a little sissy with those doors. My word, he looks like he just got in a bar fight. He must’ve run all the way to wherever the ring was and back… I guess he’s not so bad.
“I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Really? Did he really have to do that? He’s caused enough of a scene already. And hear it is and the ring is on! YES, I can’t believe it! Is Johnny’s brother crying? Oh my, I’m gonna start crying right with him right here, oh lord… oh dear. Oh I bet it’s all an act to get my sister, not this time buddy…
“Hey you! Yeah, come here. I know what you’re tryin to do with my sister.” Little punk, “Excuse me! You are not to use that in any such way!”
How come Johnny never does that?
Oh shoot, I have to go make sure sister has the ring ready. Oh my why did they have to put the dressing room all the way down these stairs. Whoa, I nearly broke a heel. Twenty three steps, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six…Good grief I’m finally done with those stairs, holy smokes these doors are heavy, I better warn daddy about those before he walks me down the hall.
“Hey sis! You got the ring?” she looks so beautiful, “Alright great, TEN MINUTES!” Ah I’m so excited. Where on earth is that damn best man!?
Alright here it is, “Dad remember the doors” oh boy he’s getting old.
Oh there’s Johnny’s grandma, what a sour lady. “Hey there grandma!” I hope no one told her about those doors. And there he is, my knight in shining armor. And look at that, no best man. I can’t believe this is happening.
His eyes are so beautiful, deep blue lined with a grey, this is really happening! Oh I hear a car, I wonder if this is Johnny’s brother. Yup, there he is and yup no one told him about those doors, good riddance. What on earth is he wearing around his neck, oh my, that’s the most disgusting bow tie I have ever seen. Excuse me, he better have not of looked at my sister like that, way out of his league anyways.
Hmmm, I’d like to give him a little earful right now. What!? He forgot the ring in the car!? What an incompetent little piece…
“PUTTPUTT POW!”
What on earth was that!? It sounded like a gun shot or… I can only assume it’s the genius of a best man.
It’s been fifteen minutes and that cheese ball still isn’t back, in the car my… Oh I can hear him coming up the stairs, what a little sissy with those doors. My word, he looks like he just got in a bar fight. He must’ve run all the way to wherever the ring was and back… I guess he’s not so bad.
“I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Really? Did he really have to do that? He’s caused enough of a scene already. And hear it is and the ring is on! YES, I can’t believe it! Is Johnny’s brother crying? Oh my, I’m gonna start crying right with him right here, oh lord… oh dear. Oh I bet it’s all an act to get my sister, not this time buddy…
“Hey you! Yeah, come here. I know what you’re tryin to do with my sister.” Little punk, “Excuse me! You are not to use that in any such way!”
How come Johnny never does that?
Monday, February 16, 2009
WA#5 Wedding
It’s twelve thirty, the wedding started at twelve fifteen. I can’t believe I’m late to my own brother’s wedding. Is it at the church over on Park Street or is it that big old church over by the stadium? Let’s pick the big old one by the stadium, it’s closer.
Alright here we are I think this is it. Do I have everything? Oh man this bow tie looks ridiculous. Whatever, I have to get in there.
Holy Jesus these doors are heavy, you’d think with all these old people they’d have some lighter doors.
“Oh hello there grandma, how are you? I know I’m late grandma, got held up at home. Oh I know it looks ridiculous, Johnny picked it out. I know I know I’m going.”
Wow, there are a lot of people there. Oh including the bride’s sisters, hello there. Oh here we go, there’s a little wink. Oh wow she didn’t like that.
There’s ol’ Johnny, I can’t believe he’s getting married and I can’t believe I’m late.
“Hey Johnny, sorry I’m late” he looks a bit pissed.
“Hey you shmuck, bout time you got here. Got the ring?”
HOLY HELL! I forgot the ring, oh no, what am I gonna do? It’s sitting right on my dresser at home, oh hot damn.
“Oh yeah, I just forgot it in the car. Excuse me for a sec while I retrieve the precious” I can’t believe I just lied so hard, I better hurry.
This is such a long church, why did it have to be here. It makes this a whole lot more awkward for me now. Holy cow, grandma looks pissed. Alright let me quicken my pace a bit.
Again with these doors, I feel like my arm is going to get ripped off. What a nice day it is and look at my beautiful black Stang sitting glowing with glory. Alright baby, let’s start her up.
PUTTPUTT POW!
You’ve gotta be kidding me!? Alright I guess I’ll have to run back to the house to get the ring. Oh ouch, those ankles don’t like those dress shoes. Wow, starting to work up a sweat. Breathe, breathe, and breathe. Alright keep on going, we’re almost there.
Here we are, oh wow I need to fix those shudders. Here I go up the stairs and THERE’S THE RING! Here I go down the stairs and I’m gone. It’s twelve forty five; Johnny is probably giving birth to a small cow right now. Alright sprint legs sprint! Faster legs! Breathe, breathe, and breathe some more. I SEE THE CHURCH!
The holy heavy doors yet again.
“Grandma, Hello again! Yes I know” such a sweetie she is.
There he is, he’s so damn happy right now. Oh man I might start crying. Oh no, don’t do it, stay strong.
“Got it?”
“Yea…here” keep it in, don’t breakdown.
“I love you brother”
“OH GOD I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Oh that was a bit too much, wow that felt good.
“Sorry, go on” Oh here it is and the ring is on! I wonder if the bride’s sister is going to be at the reception.
Alright here we are I think this is it. Do I have everything? Oh man this bow tie looks ridiculous. Whatever, I have to get in there.
Holy Jesus these doors are heavy, you’d think with all these old people they’d have some lighter doors.
“Oh hello there grandma, how are you? I know I’m late grandma, got held up at home. Oh I know it looks ridiculous, Johnny picked it out. I know I know I’m going.”
Wow, there are a lot of people there. Oh including the bride’s sisters, hello there. Oh here we go, there’s a little wink. Oh wow she didn’t like that.
There’s ol’ Johnny, I can’t believe he’s getting married and I can’t believe I’m late.
“Hey Johnny, sorry I’m late” he looks a bit pissed.
“Hey you shmuck, bout time you got here. Got the ring?”
HOLY HELL! I forgot the ring, oh no, what am I gonna do? It’s sitting right on my dresser at home, oh hot damn.
“Oh yeah, I just forgot it in the car. Excuse me for a sec while I retrieve the precious” I can’t believe I just lied so hard, I better hurry.
This is such a long church, why did it have to be here. It makes this a whole lot more awkward for me now. Holy cow, grandma looks pissed. Alright let me quicken my pace a bit.
Again with these doors, I feel like my arm is going to get ripped off. What a nice day it is and look at my beautiful black Stang sitting glowing with glory. Alright baby, let’s start her up.
PUTTPUTT POW!
You’ve gotta be kidding me!? Alright I guess I’ll have to run back to the house to get the ring. Oh ouch, those ankles don’t like those dress shoes. Wow, starting to work up a sweat. Breathe, breathe, and breathe. Alright keep on going, we’re almost there.
Here we are, oh wow I need to fix those shudders. Here I go up the stairs and THERE’S THE RING! Here I go down the stairs and I’m gone. It’s twelve forty five; Johnny is probably giving birth to a small cow right now. Alright sprint legs sprint! Faster legs! Breathe, breathe, and breathe some more. I SEE THE CHURCH!
The holy heavy doors yet again.
“Grandma, Hello again! Yes I know” such a sweetie she is.
There he is, he’s so damn happy right now. Oh man I might start crying. Oh no, don’t do it, stay strong.
“Got it?”
“Yea…here” keep it in, don’t breakdown.
“I love you brother”
“OH GOD I LOVE YOU TOO BROTHER!” Oh that was a bit too much, wow that felt good.
“Sorry, go on” Oh here it is and the ring is on! I wonder if the bride’s sister is going to be at the reception.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)