BLOG #1 "Bad Murder"

Hate and arrogance began spilling out of his mouth filling the air with words never meant to be said. He kept running his mouth and wouldn’t stop. It was like an alarm that wouldn’t turn off and the only way to make it stop was to smash it against the wall. The anger was pumping out into my blood and with every heart beat poisoned my body with rage. I used every ounce of self control I had to not pick up the nearest object and smash his head in; a crushing battering blow, BAM! Oh how sometimes you get so damn angry getting pushed and pushed with no reaction until suddenly you return the favor, BAM! The feeling you don't want out is banging and tearing in your mind begging to get out. It breaks the glass and comes full force eliminating anything in its path. The thoughts and outcomes pop into your head, what if I do this, what if I do that. It would make everything better if I do this, but be so much better if I did that. Grinding your teeth together to work out the anger, biting your lip and tasting the blood created. So angry, your just so damn angry nothing can stop you. Tears begin to come, it seems something needs to come out and without the violence it begins coming out through tears and blood and sweat, only created by yourself. A tangled ball of anger and confusion settles in your stomach doubting whether to walk away or not. Seeing him sitting there laughing knowing what he's done has just pissed you off so much to a point where you really can’t control. Well good job and you just break the nose, BAM! Man it felt so good, too bad it was just in your mind. BAM! A knee to the face, the satisfaction is so good. Too bad it’s still in your mind. Will that person just shut the f**k up! They’re laughing and laughing but you know you can’t, you just can’t. You step toward them and push, but it’s not enough, the tears streaming down your face. How did they think they could do something like that, just so damn arrogant and hateful. The thing is, is they can’t do something like that, oh no, not to you. Not to anybody so you want to teach them a lesson. Your fists are clenched ready to swing at anything that moves a little too quick. Heart beating so fast you feel like everything around you is spinning like you’re in a dream but you want this dream to stop so BAM! You picked up your brand new acoustic guitar and broke it right across his face, wasting $500 never felt so good. Too bad it was only in your mind. Knowing that if only you did, you would scratch and kick and thrash your way on top until that laughing stopped and the tides of rage receded. Looking back on what he did you get even more angry and start throwing stuff around. Thinking about that laugh and thinking about how he thought that he got the better half of you. Maybe he did and if he did why don’t you show him the bad half, the bad half just broke your nose, BAM! Ooops! Now what is he gonna do? He's gonna not even think about doin it again. He knew he meant to impose hurt with what he did, he knew that he wanted to see the person he hurt cry or become so embarrassed they never want to show themselves again. What a damn pig for him to do that, and you just want to wring his neck, blacken his eye, make him try to feel that kind of pain that he caused. It’s horrible, horrible all around. Every bit of the situation is bad, but you can’t take it you just can’t take it any more, not one more time. It has to stop, so BAM you make it stop! The rage pumping through your veins filling in every corner of your body. But this time it wasn’t in your head, suddenly your breathing goes down, you look down and see the person lying their bloody, and you know how they feel. In the blistering hear of the moment you broke down and you turn to yourself asking how could you ever inflict so much pain on somebody. BAM! You look around recovering from a bad dream and realize the feeling you just felt will always be in your head, and that’s where you'll keep it forever, cuz you know what’s gonna happen if you let it out.